Better

Things seem to be getting better around here. Kids are doing well. Russell and I doing well. So for now things seem to be doing well.

Death

There has been so much death in my world the past year. First my great friend Kay. She was everything I hope to someday be. My wonderful mother in law lost her short battle with cancer in November. And my beautiful, wonderful, talented sister in law. All these people hold a place in my heart now and forever.

I don't understand why I am so blah right now. They all had great lives. So something is wrong with me. I am just so sad about all of this. I feel like I can't handle anything else that comes my way. I keep having dreams that I have cancer and die. I am so freaked out about this. I just need to talk to someone I think. But the people I would talk to are gone. What am I to do?